20 May 2012. 07:58 AM. "How I met your Mother Hen"

You've been sleeping for nine hours straight. You woke up once in the middle, sometime around five I think, grunted about and then your head came crashing down to the pillow again. The AC had been switched off. If you wanted the room chilled, you could have just told me politely you know - no need to grunt.

All this talk of grunting brings me to your mother.
For that is how you and me met.

I was working as a copywriter at Ogilvy then. This was in the year 2007. I had just shifted base from Calcutta and I was super excited. I thought I was the cat's whiskers. Delhi was the land of opportunity, dreams, money. And of course chicks.

I am a friendly kind of guy. [You must have noticed surely?]
I like talking to people. Taxi drivers, random people at a mall, computer screens. Which is why it frustrated me hugely when this girl in office refused to talk to me or make eye contact with me. She was in her own world most of the time, her earphones plugged tightly into her head.

There was surely some way I could crack her?

Then one day, opportunity showed itself. She was sitting bang opposite to where I used to sit. I peeked. As usual, the earphones were in place, and her eyes were glued to the screen.
Her phone was out on the table. And here's where opportunity was.
Her phone was the same as the phone I was using!

"Nice phone!", said I in as friendly a manner as I could.
No response.
It was possibly the blasting music into her ears that was the reason.

I tried a little louder this time.
"Nice PHONE!"

Still no response.
Although a lot of colleagues were looking at me now.

She looked up. Voila!

Her earplugs still plugged into her ears, she raised both her eyebrows in an incredulous fashion and stared at me. In retrospect, your mother is a bit of a stupid woman. When you see a person in front of you with his mouth opening and closing like a fish, you kind of assume the person is trying to say something. And if at that very moment, something is obstructing your line of sound, you should remove it. Logical thing and all that.

By now, I had climbed most of the barrier that separated my desk from hers.
I waved my phone in front of her eyes.
"WE HAVE THE SAME PHONE, YOU AND I!", I persisted, not to be beaten by a couple of earplugs.

She looked at my phone, then hers. Then smiled.
Victory! I had cracked her!

She then showed me a thumbs up and got back to her work.
I slowly went back to my chair. This poor girl was obviously deaf and dumb.
I felt sorry for her. Tomorrow, I promised, I would get her some toffee.

[You grunted again. Which probably means you're going to wake up now. And since you're exceptionally cute when you wake up, I'm going to stop writing now. More about your deaf and dumb mother later.]

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